You have all seen the lady (or man) I'm about to talk about. She's big, she's wearing next to nothing and she's loving every second of it. She walks around like she's royalty and God's gift to the world! Truthfully, people stare and I'm one of them. Wondering what the hell she's thinking.... and secretly wishing I was more like her!!
Now, I don't mean that I want to strut around in public with my wobbly bits hanging out! Sheesh. I shudder at the thought! What I do mean is that I envy her confidence. To believe whole-heartedly that I am stunning no matter what the imbeciles around me think?? YES PLEASE!
Just imagine what each of us could accomplish without all of the baggage and doubts we are lugging along all the time! If I could set aside my insecurities for a month- oh, the extra time I'd have! I think I could probably get a raise, ace my class, start a new business, make major strides at the gym and who knows what else! I truly believe that my hang-ups are holding me back. So shouldn't it be easy to shake it off and move on? It should be. Yet, not so much.
I don't have the answers to how to set the baggage aside- if i did, I'd be raking in the millions in self-help books!! For now, I am choosing to try and find a way to downsize my insecurities from three luggage carts to maybe one. :) It's a lofty goal, I know. But as I hit the gym more and pay more attention to how my body IS changing for the better instead of considering beating my scale to a pulp with a mini-sledge, I am slowly but surely shedding some of my issues. Truthfully, I haven't stopped to evaluate how or why it is happening. I am just pleased to be making progress. Maybe it's the fact that as I age (gracefully, no doubt), I am gaining perspective. Then again, maybe not. For now, I am choosing to enjoy the small victory of not beating myself up over every flaw.
Despite my progress, strutting in 5 inch heels in a skirt that barely covers my naughty business and a tube top, I am NOT! And fear not, my friends, I never will be. But every time that girl sashays past me... I think... Damn, I wanna feel that good!