Why is it as women we tend to tear one another down when we should be lifting each other up?
You are beautiful. For a million reasons. Maybe you have a smile that lights up a room. Maybe you have great hair, a great figure, cute ears or a button nose. Why can't it be those things that we focus on in each other and ourselves instead of the 'flaws'?
So here is my suggestion--- as you walk past someone--- be it a friend, a coworker, an acquaintance or even a foe, and you notice something about them that you like... say something. I did it just this morning without thinking about it. I mentioned to my coworker that she looks really cute today and he face lit up. She has been walking around the office with her head held high and maybe doing a bit of a sashay. Atta girl! Rock what you got!
The important part is that you mean it. Faking it just won't do. People see through that. But when you do notice, make a point to lift her up. Breaking each other down isn't working. For any of us. Be a positive force and in turn you get to feel good about making someone else feel good. It's a win/win!
To say something so simple, to make such a tiny gesture and make someone's day? THAT is power.
Be powerful. Make someone's day. Do. It. Now.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Monday, November 16, 2015
Back on Track to Forgiveness
I recently had a conversation with a friend about how far 'off track' she felt her life was. I found myself telling her it isn't about how far off track you feel you are or how many times you go off the rails, but whether you get yourself back ON track.
And that's what I am doing with my weight loss journey. It hasn't been easy. It hasn't even been a consistent effort. But I am still working on getting back on track- and truly, that is what counts.
I still need to learn to not beat myself up for slipping and gaining some of the weight back. I need to learn how to forgive myself. I am pretty good at forgiving others for their shortcomings and failures, but I hold myself to a higher standard. Sometimes, that's a great thing because I strive to be an overachiever. Sometimes, the drive to be the best leaves me feeling let down when I don't feel that I have achieved the goals I set for myself.
I have begun to forgive myself in the last few weeks. And what do you know? The weight is starting to come off. Who'd have thunk??
I think holding myself accountable is critical, but not stressing about my mistakes has given me the freedom to be me and listen to my body and not what the media would have me believe is the best thing for me.
So if I can pass on one message it would be to learn to forgive. Yourself in particular. You are not perfect and that's ok. You're perfectly you and more than what you weigh, or where you work, or how much savings you have, or how many friends you have--- are you happy on your path? If you are- then it is the right one for you. Now own it and forgive yourself if you get a little off track. It happens to the best of us- to the best of you.
And that's what I am doing with my weight loss journey. It hasn't been easy. It hasn't even been a consistent effort. But I am still working on getting back on track- and truly, that is what counts.
I still need to learn to not beat myself up for slipping and gaining some of the weight back. I need to learn how to forgive myself. I am pretty good at forgiving others for their shortcomings and failures, but I hold myself to a higher standard. Sometimes, that's a great thing because I strive to be an overachiever. Sometimes, the drive to be the best leaves me feeling let down when I don't feel that I have achieved the goals I set for myself.
I have begun to forgive myself in the last few weeks. And what do you know? The weight is starting to come off. Who'd have thunk??
I think holding myself accountable is critical, but not stressing about my mistakes has given me the freedom to be me and listen to my body and not what the media would have me believe is the best thing for me.
So if I can pass on one message it would be to learn to forgive. Yourself in particular. You are not perfect and that's ok. You're perfectly you and more than what you weigh, or where you work, or how much savings you have, or how many friends you have--- are you happy on your path? If you are- then it is the right one for you. Now own it and forgive yourself if you get a little off track. It happens to the best of us- to the best of you.
Friday, August 28, 2015
Dangerous Curves Ahead!
I never thought I would be one to rock the skinny pants (not skin-tight skinny, mind you). Yet I find that when I wear my slim pants and a cute top and some wedges, I walk a little taller and maybe add a touch of sashay!
Crazy, right? I strut my face off and feel good about my curves. I haven't really lost any major lbs. lately, but I have been adding quite a bit of ab work to my routine and I am finding that even if my tummy isn't flat--- but it isn't getting in the way of my daily tasks, I am starting to feel good in my skin. I haven't cracked the secret as to how to feel that way all the time- when I do, I promise to share!
But in the meantime, I am going to stick to the plan. Just do better every day. And so far, it is helping! It may not be whittling my waistline or toning my thighs at a breakneck speed, but it is reshaping my brain and I think that is the biggest barrier we all face in this world of stick figure models. I will never be skinny and I don't really want to be. I want to be healthy. And hot. I'd love to be hot!
Truthfully, it isn't every day I feel this way, but when I do, I have made a conscious decision to revel in it. Sock it all in! I am not going to love myself and my shape every day. I know this. But on the days that I do- LOOK OUT! Oh yeah, that's me pretending walking up my driveway is the equivalent to walking a catwalk. What of it??
Crazy, right? I strut my face off and feel good about my curves. I haven't really lost any major lbs. lately, but I have been adding quite a bit of ab work to my routine and I am finding that even if my tummy isn't flat--- but it isn't getting in the way of my daily tasks, I am starting to feel good in my skin. I haven't cracked the secret as to how to feel that way all the time- when I do, I promise to share!
But in the meantime, I am going to stick to the plan. Just do better every day. And so far, it is helping! It may not be whittling my waistline or toning my thighs at a breakneck speed, but it is reshaping my brain and I think that is the biggest barrier we all face in this world of stick figure models. I will never be skinny and I don't really want to be. I want to be healthy. And hot. I'd love to be hot!
Truthfully, it isn't every day I feel this way, but when I do, I have made a conscious decision to revel in it. Sock it all in! I am not going to love myself and my shape every day. I know this. But on the days that I do- LOOK OUT! Oh yeah, that's me pretending walking up my driveway is the equivalent to walking a catwalk. What of it??
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
I am MORE than My Weight
That's right, you heard me critics! I am more than my weight. I know what you see on the outside is a thick, curvy woman, but try to remember that I am also a coworker, a friend, a wife and a good person.
Try to remember that when you stop me in the ladies' room to ask me if I am pregnant that all I want to do is hide and cry because, no, I most definitely am not pregnant but now my belly is all I can think about.
Try to remember that when you call me fat that I have other things going on in my life and sometimes those things get in the way of my weight loss journey.
Try to remember that I work hard all day and dedicate myself to being my best, not just to being skinny.
Try to remember that bullying is even more ridiculous coming from what is supposed to be a grown adult.
Try to remember that just because you are thinner than I am, it does NOT make you better than me.
Try to remember that lifting people up is more rewarding than beating them down.
Try to remember that I am first and foremost a real, live human being with real, live feelings.
I will try to remember that if you need to insult me to make yourself feel better, you and your silly opinion is not worth worrying about and that I am indeed MORE than my weight.
Try to remember that when you stop me in the ladies' room to ask me if I am pregnant that all I want to do is hide and cry because, no, I most definitely am not pregnant but now my belly is all I can think about.
Try to remember that when you call me fat that I have other things going on in my life and sometimes those things get in the way of my weight loss journey.
Try to remember that I work hard all day and dedicate myself to being my best, not just to being skinny.
Try to remember that bullying is even more ridiculous coming from what is supposed to be a grown adult.
Try to remember that just because you are thinner than I am, it does NOT make you better than me.
Try to remember that lifting people up is more rewarding than beating them down.
Try to remember that I am first and foremost a real, live human being with real, live feelings.
I will try to remember that if you need to insult me to make yourself feel better, you and your silly opinion is not worth worrying about and that I am indeed MORE than my weight.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Weak Ankles
I know that walking is not necessarily the most vigorous work out, but it's one I can do on my breaks at work- one I can do with friends- one I can do with my weak ankles.
For those of you who don't know, I managed to roll both of my ankles (at the same time) early this spring while headed out to work. It wasn't icy. It wasn't all that cold. I wasn't wearing towering heels or in a terrible hurry. I simply stepped off of my back porch and my left ankle gave out. When I tried to catch myself with my right ankle, I rolled that one too. I found myself laying flat on my back in a puddle of my spilled coffee staring up at the sky thinking "Who in the world am I going to get to come scrape me off of my patio?"
It couldn't be the hubs, as he hadn't gotten home from work until after 3:30am and he was upstairs completely konked out... A neighbor? Nah, I don't really want them to see me like this: ripped knee in my brand new pants, drenched in coffee, and whimpering like a 6 week old puppy. So I tried to stand... NOT my smartest decision of the day and let's be honest- it wasn't even 7 a.m. and I wasn't off to a great start.
I proceeded to crawl up the two steps and into my kitchen where as I tried to tenderly peel my boots off while my dogs assisted in the cleaning off of the coffee now dripping down my face. Again, not my proudest moment. It took me several minutes to roll myself onto my feet but then I did manage to hobble my way into my laundry room and change into a different outfit, slip on some flats and make my way to work, mewling all the way. By mid-afternoon, both of my ankles were so swollen, my boss sent me home. Oh yeah, they were that bad.
I have spent the last few months babying my ankles and still trying to find a way to exercise. NOT an easy task when most of the activities I was involved in, Focus T25, Zumba, volleyball all involve jumping and having good balance. No dice. So now I walk. I try to walk every single day and my FitBit helps to keep me accountable. Walking may not make you sweat buckets, but it is purported to be a terrific way to stay fit and I am now a believer. Despite this crazy, embarrassing setback, I've been able to get the scale to inch in the right direction. Winning!
So I say: "Walk on, sista, walk on!"
For those of you who don't know, I managed to roll both of my ankles (at the same time) early this spring while headed out to work. It wasn't icy. It wasn't all that cold. I wasn't wearing towering heels or in a terrible hurry. I simply stepped off of my back porch and my left ankle gave out. When I tried to catch myself with my right ankle, I rolled that one too. I found myself laying flat on my back in a puddle of my spilled coffee staring up at the sky thinking "Who in the world am I going to get to come scrape me off of my patio?"
It couldn't be the hubs, as he hadn't gotten home from work until after 3:30am and he was upstairs completely konked out... A neighbor? Nah, I don't really want them to see me like this: ripped knee in my brand new pants, drenched in coffee, and whimpering like a 6 week old puppy. So I tried to stand... NOT my smartest decision of the day and let's be honest- it wasn't even 7 a.m. and I wasn't off to a great start.
I proceeded to crawl up the two steps and into my kitchen where as I tried to tenderly peel my boots off while my dogs assisted in the cleaning off of the coffee now dripping down my face. Again, not my proudest moment. It took me several minutes to roll myself onto my feet but then I did manage to hobble my way into my laundry room and change into a different outfit, slip on some flats and make my way to work, mewling all the way. By mid-afternoon, both of my ankles were so swollen, my boss sent me home. Oh yeah, they were that bad.
I have spent the last few months babying my ankles and still trying to find a way to exercise. NOT an easy task when most of the activities I was involved in, Focus T25, Zumba, volleyball all involve jumping and having good balance. No dice. So now I walk. I try to walk every single day and my FitBit helps to keep me accountable. Walking may not make you sweat buckets, but it is purported to be a terrific way to stay fit and I am now a believer. Despite this crazy, embarrassing setback, I've been able to get the scale to inch in the right direction. Winning!
So I say: "Walk on, sista, walk on!"
Monday, July 20, 2015
New Adventures Start With a Look Back
As I embark on this new adventure, I believe it should begin with a look back at where it began. Don't worry, this won't be about the day I was born or to the beginning of time, but it will be more serious than I usually post. Just to where my adventure, my life began with my dear husband. I find that new, great love can often inspire us to be better. To be more. I am truly blessed that he makes me want to be the best person, the best partner that I can be. He inspires me most every day. He is supportive and has even told me that he loves my 'tummy.' If that isn't love, I don't know what is. He stands by me and allows me to be myself- thick or thin (me, that is).
When we first started dating, we had been friends for over a year and I had been in love with him for most of that time. Sad, but true. His charm and charisma still sometimes stop me in my tracks. His bravery in the face of all that we have been through is staggering. He is brilliant, beautiful, bold and maddening at the same time.
Once upon a time, I used to write poetry. I rarely share it because it is often too personal, too raw. But today, inexplicably, I find myself yet again inspired. I want you to know what I saw in him, in myself more than 10 years ago. Things I still see today and that's how I know that my adventure is still in its infancy. There is so much more to come.
Those who know me, know I have a favorite phrase. It is only 2 words, but they sum up life without fuss. "Love is..." And then you get to fill in the blank. It is a reminder to me that love is in the little, every day minutia. And here I will share a bit about what I believe about love.
Without further ado:
When we first started dating, we had been friends for over a year and I had been in love with him for most of that time. Sad, but true. His charm and charisma still sometimes stop me in my tracks. His bravery in the face of all that we have been through is staggering. He is brilliant, beautiful, bold and maddening at the same time.
Once upon a time, I used to write poetry. I rarely share it because it is often too personal, too raw. But today, inexplicably, I find myself yet again inspired. I want you to know what I saw in him, in myself more than 10 years ago. Things I still see today and that's how I know that my adventure is still in its infancy. There is so much more to come.
Those who know me, know I have a favorite phrase. It is only 2 words, but they sum up life without fuss. "Love is..." And then you get to fill in the blank. It is a reminder to me that love is in the little, every day minutia. And here I will share a bit about what I believe about love.
Without further ado:
Love is Poetry.
Love is chaotic, yet
Uncomplicated.
Love is palpable, yet
Untouchable.
Love is pure, yet
Muddled.
Love is wholesome, yet
Wicked.
Love is gentle, yet
Unyielding.
Love is loneliness, yet
I am not alone.
Love is beyond my grasp, yet
I hold it in my heart.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
My New Plan. To WIN Every Day
Hello there! It has been a while. Ii didn't have much to say about the subject of weight loss since I have gained most of the weight back that I lost writing this blog. I think I am going to try again to inspire/disgust/entertain you with my goofy little antics.
To start with, I am going small... I plan to WIN every day. Allow me to explain what I mean:
Step 1) I will do something active every day. Even if that just entails walking on my lunch break for 10 minutes. I need to move more to burn calories, clear my mind and get myself back on a track where weight loss is possible. Not being able to take a full, deep breath in my favorite jeans is not good times. Oh, who am I kidding?!?! I cannot sit or stand in them at this point. Bend over and buckle/tie my shoes? It's all just a fantasy at this moment. Dream ON, sista!
Step 2) I will make at least one better food/beverage decision every day. Double butterburger with all the trimmings? YUM. If I choose the grilled chicken sandwich instead? I'm calling it a win. Cold cut sub instead of half of a large pizza? Win! If I drink one diet soda instead of my favorite, painfully caloric beers? Win. A glass of water instead of that bottle of wine? (And yes, I said bottle) Win.
This plan is about baby steps for me. I got discouraged last time having very little to celebrate. To make sure that doesn't happen to me again, in this plan, I win EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Pretty sure that's a plan I can live with. And soon, I hope to build on it. Care to join me?
To start with, I am going small... I plan to WIN every day. Allow me to explain what I mean:
Step 1) I will do something active every day. Even if that just entails walking on my lunch break for 10 minutes. I need to move more to burn calories, clear my mind and get myself back on a track where weight loss is possible. Not being able to take a full, deep breath in my favorite jeans is not good times. Oh, who am I kidding?!?! I cannot sit or stand in them at this point. Bend over and buckle/tie my shoes? It's all just a fantasy at this moment. Dream ON, sista!
Step 2) I will make at least one better food/beverage decision every day. Double butterburger with all the trimmings? YUM. If I choose the grilled chicken sandwich instead? I'm calling it a win. Cold cut sub instead of half of a large pizza? Win! If I drink one diet soda instead of my favorite, painfully caloric beers? Win. A glass of water instead of that bottle of wine? (And yes, I said bottle) Win.
This plan is about baby steps for me. I got discouraged last time having very little to celebrate. To make sure that doesn't happen to me again, in this plan, I win EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Pretty sure that's a plan I can live with. And soon, I hope to build on it. Care to join me?
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